I don’t want to give up.
Waves of Nothingness.
Just if I knew how to stop and start walking again.. My world is spinning.. and spinning beyond my control. I kept thinking and wondering, if the decisions I made today was the right one. I know well, there isn’t a right or wrong. If mistakes happen, fix it.
I’m not motivated either. Why am I not..? I used to keep going, and going and never knew how to look back. But now, it’s different. I feel lost most times, could this be another level of being independent? I never had to make such choices, and with the constant pressure ‘to be careful’, I never knew I lack so much confidence.
Everyone thinks I know it all, I do for most things and for others. Never for myself, because I suppose it’s like gambling. Like being afraid to lose a bet, I’m afraid to make mistakes. Is it because I was built this way, I’ve become and introvert person. No one knows how much I have inside of me, that is just constantly tearing my heart. I know I have alot to give to others, but when I’m alone. I feel alone and nothingness.
I did try. I just wish I could try harder to keep myself as alive as a person should be.
Ugly.
Recently, I went shopping with two of my good friends.
I picked out this super duper off-beat looking sweater thing. My friend said “That’s soooo ugly” and I replied “Yeah, but I have a tendency to make ugly things look good”.
Tried it on. Loved it. Bought it. Rockin’ it.
Point is, don’t be afraid to try different things. You might like it. Might not. BUT WHO CARES! Tryings things on is free :]
You might even end up finding a new steelo that suits you better.
Do.
It’s not what you do, it how you do it. It’s not what you see, its how you look at it. It’s not how your life is, is how you live it. - EOL
I use to try so hard in everything. Now I still do, but I added fun into the equation. So I’ll live aggressively fun, I suppose.
(via etiquetteforalady)
