"Everything, has it’s own way to tell you a story or a lesson to learn."
znitch
(via qomaspeakup)
(via qomaspeakup)
Pain.
In my head, everything is messed up. On my face, everything seems calm. In my heart, I only can feel nothing but pain. Truly, I changed so much. I’m not quite sure if it was good or bad, but I’ve changed. It’s scary cause normally people don’t notice they have changed, but I did.
My emotions are all time low. I feel that my entire life is now a joke. What have I become, and why have I changed so much. I’m just really depressed, I’m feeling everyday as if I’m using an oxygen mask gasping for air.
I’ve been saying this again and again. I miss her so so so so much. No words can describe it. It’s because I still couldn’t accept her passing, I’m stuck in the moment right now. As if the pain would never go away. I miss her that every time her image of her smiling appeared in my head, tears would just come naturally.
I wish I could pick up the phone and call her and just hear her voice. I wish I could hear her telling me to study hard, and come back soon. I wish I could see her again, smiling and laughing. I wish I could hug her every time before I leave and go home from work. I wish I haven’t left so soon.. I just wish she could see me graduate and live another few more years until I’ve gave her everything I could.
I know.. there’s too many I wishes. It’s because I owe her that much it’s not enough to give back. When I was younger, she took me in and took care of me. When I fell down and had a huge scar, she was the first to head to the hospital with me and my aunt. When I left for college, she called and made sure she would try to cook my favorite soup when I come to visit. When I left for University, I hugged her and she had tears in her eye. Then I realized how much she loved me unconditionally everyday, even though she didn’t say through words. But the endless support that I always had from her was enough to prove that. When I came back after two years, I got a job and worked day to day. She would call me, just to make sure I came home cause she was worried.
She dedicated her life, to take care of me and my siblings. And I wish I could have done the same.. I miss you grandma. If you are somewhere out there, I just wanted to know I’m sorry and thank you so so much for being part of my life.
(via qomaspeakup)
(Source: fearlessknightsandfairytales, via qomaspeakup)
(via qomaspeakup)
"Do you ever get that feeling where you don’t want to talk to anybody? You don’t want to smile and you don’t want to fake being happy but at the same time you don’t know exactly what’s wrong either, there isn’t a way to explain it to someone who doesn’t already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being alone never was. At least when you’re alone no one constantly asks you what’s wrong and there isn’t anyone who won’t take “I don’t know” for an answer. you feel the way you do just because. you hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait."
(via eletheowl)
(via qomaspeakup)
(Source: theblogonthebookshelf.blogspot.com, via qomaspeakup)
(Source: beckham23, via qomaspeakup)
